My son has this dramatic thing he does sometimes. An example:
He's playing a video game. I tell him to finish up, it's time for dinner. He whines that he wants to save his game. I tell him to save it, but instead, in dramatic fashion, he gets up from the couch and simply turns the system off. Then he whines as he heads upstairs that he had wanted to save his game first. I remind him that I told him to save the game, why didn't he save it? Wanting to continue his complaint of injustice in having his valuable gaming time interrupted by something as inconsequential as dinner, he whines again that he had wanted to save his game. And I say, with all wisdom and reason, "Then why would you do the opposite of what you really wanted to do?"
Hmm. Yes. Why would someone do that? My question brings to mind the paraphrased quote in the post title (from Phoebe Buffay in a conversation with Monica Geller on "Friends").
I say all the time: I want to be... thin. In shape. Able to wear flattering clothes. Healthy. But my actions are in opposition. I overeat. I don't exercise. I don't make wholesome food choices.
Well, I guess I want both. I want to be lazy and eat whatever I want in whatever quantity I want and be thin and in great shape and comfortable in a swimsuit. Obviously, that won't work. So which do I want more?
What a silly question ... of course, I want to lose weight and look/feel better!
Not according to my actions. My actions reveal I want the opposite more.
I can wish and hope and dream all I want, but until I get my actions in line with my desires, nothing will change and I'll continue whining about what I really want and pouting about the injustice that I've had the ability to control all along.
Okay, first of all, I LOVE "Friends" and knew exactly what your title was referencing before I even read your post! [I've actually been kicking around ideas for a "Fat Monica" post, LOL!]
ReplyDeleteAs for your actual post... I'm the same exact way! It's very imbedded in my mind that I WANT to be healthier, but I also WANT another slice of pizza and another scoop of ice cream. In a society that likes to say we can "have it all" the problem is that many of us are realizing we can't quite have it all as we really want it.
There also seems to be a disconnect, for me anyway, because I see slim, healthy people who do chow down as much as they want and in my mind I'm not seeing them slaving over an elliptical to burn the calories off, I'm stuck on the image of them being healthy AND eating what they want to eat, when they want to eat it. Is that rational? No, not so much, but rarely do my thin friends tell me how much they work out -- they do tell me when they went some place great for dinner or when they're having a major craving! Of course, I can identify with the cravings and the great dinners, but I wish they'd share more about the working out that follows...
Hey Alana! Good to hear from you ...
ReplyDeleteI loved Phoebe. I think one of my fave Phoebe lines occurs during the episode where Brad Pitt guest starred and he was hinting around about the "I hate Rachel" club but was being all secretive and everyone wants him to tell them what he's talking about, and Phoebe bursts out with "Yes, take off your shirt and tell us!"
Something like that.
Anyway ... I'm SO familiar with that inner battle. The thing that frustrates me so much is that the part of me that wants instant gratification, consequences be damned, usually wins. The idea that if I forgo that frosted sugar cookie, I'll be that much closer to fitting into my smaller jeans just doesn't have the same appeal, at that moment, to that delcious cookie. The smaller jeans seem so much further down the road; the cookie is now.
I have a different experience with thin friends and acquaintances in that I see them turning down things that I hardly ever turn down. Therefore, they are thin and I am not. I'm going to post about that phenomenon shortly.