I was at a birthday party for my beautiful niece and nephew this past weekend, and I overheard one of my sisters mention an upcoming wedding (our cousin's) and how she'd like to be able to wear a nice dress, etc. Of course, I locked on to that ... another challenge, another deadline, another goal.
Ever optimistic, we diet-obsessed are. Right away, my mind was a blur with diet plans and weighing in and those skinny jeans I mention all the time.
A couple years ago, those jeans fit very comfortably on me. They are size 16 Misses (NOT Women's), in the modern style of being a little low on the hips. I had gotten to the point where I was having not one bit of trouble pulling them on, buttoning and zipping them. It was a nice feeling. During this same time period, my size 16 work slacks were getting a bit loose.
I know to a lot of people, size 16 sounds so big, but I'm 5'11". On me, a 16 looks decent. I'm currently a soft and squishy size 18. I'm carrying most of my weight in my butt and thighs, though my tummy is involved this time around as well.
I would LOVE to be back in those 16s. It felt good to not be so self-conscious. I knew I could pull out those jeans and whatever shirt I wanted and I'd look fine. I felt normal.
I came across this site My Body Gallery where you can plug in your height, weight, size and body shape, and it will show you (if they are available) photos of women with your same criteria. The idea is to see "real" women, not Photoshopped models and celebrities. I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.
There's always this ridiculous part of me that would love to be that size 8 I was back in my anorexic days. But when I saw this size with my height on the site, I cringed. And while I did admire the size 12s, I was perfectly satisfied with the 16s. When I met my husband, let's see, it's been 17 years ago now, I was a size 14, the smallest I've been since high school. I worked out quite a bit back then - lots of step aerobics. So, okay, yes, being a 14 would rock, but the 16 would be fine. And more importantly, it is so totally doable and reachable.
(am I making up words in my zeal?)
That's only one size. For a November wedding.
Okay, my brain just reminded me that I had this same goal - to be in those size 16 jeans - by June of this year. Didn't do it. Not even close. What makes me think I'll do it this time, with even less time than I had before?
Not sure. But I've been gearing up for something. I have a couple different workouts that I've either saved from different sites or that I've torn out of magazines. I've been studying some of the lower-carb eating plans. I've been doing all this "compiling" and getting ready but I haven't put a start date on anything. Fear of failure? Possibly. But I'll definitely fail if I never start.
Still kicking around the idea of using this blog for accountability. Because I love blogging, and I know it's not something I want to give up. The idea of being SO public is overwhelming. But less people would probably notice here than they would on my SparkPeople or My Fat Secret accounts. And on this blog, the rules are all mine - how much or how often I share. But what if my two or three followers couldn't care less about what I eat or how much I exercise? But what if they did?
Not sure why all the hesitation ... particularly for something I really, really want. (Ew. Now I'm channeling the Spice Girls.)
All right. Enough is enough. It starts tomorrow. I do best eating low carb, particulary since sugary, floury food items either put me to sleep (food allergy - mold) or cause acid reflux. I need to get my body moving - walking, step aerobics, weights.
Size 16. Here I come. Zigazig ha.
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